I Did It.

Howdy, everyone! If you're reading my blog since a while, you may have seen my recent post called Finally Summer. If you didn't you can read it here. And today I went shopping and I ACTUALLY DID IT! I bought the Girl Online by Zoella. You may wonder why this is so special but I think I can explain that.

1. I wanted to buy this book since it was out on 25th November 2014. But I didn't until now. I haven't found out yet why. I just forgot about it, had not enough money with me when I thought about it or maybe I just didn't want to...? I don't know why but I didn't and I've always waited for the moment when I was gonna hold the book in my hand. And now I have it!

2. I started reading it once in the book shop and I only read the first chapter and I knew - Penny, the main character, is basically me. Fortunately, I don't have anxiety but that's something I'm glad about. I know some people with anxiety and it must be terrible. I really don't wish anxiety to anyone, even if I don't have it. Anyways, Penny is just like me with her blog. This blog is my secret too and I also just write my thoughts on here, just in a different way than her. I try to pack my worries, thoughts and all this stuff in my mind in challenges, DIY's and other things. So, Penny and I are pretty much the same person, but still different (I actually haven't read the whole book yet, but Penny seems very very very very much the same as me). I think there's a difference between me and Penny. Penny's life is very complicated and she has a lot of doubts. I have a lot of doubts too but less. I think my life isn't as hard as hers. Because of people like Zoella, because of books like 'Girl Online' and because of a lot of other stuff I've learned being myself and no caring very much about what others think about me. A half year ago, I was still very shy. I also had a stage in my life when I've always been afraid, something embarrassing could happen. If a friend invited me, I had to check my phone ten times on my way to the friend, because I was afraid if she may meant to invite me an other day. I don't know where this came from and I don't know if other people have the same problem. I wasn't able to do something, what could have given me other peoples attention. Then, a little bit more than half a year ago, I discovered YouTube and all these amazing youtubers. I've watched YouTubers before but they weren't really interesting. The longer I watched these YouTubers, the more I became confident and the more I was happy. As I started getting more confident and more open for new things, I was afraid because I didn't want things to change. I thought I'd get disliked if I wouldn't care what other people think about me. But I didn't. It wasn't easy and I'm still working on it but I'd always do this kind of 'self change' again. One thing that helped me a lot, was this blog. I've always been thinking I'd be a not-very-creative-person. But with this blog I discovered my kind of creativity.

One thing I also want to say: If I say 'you shall not care what others think about you' I don't mean you shall ignore what they say and just do what you want to do. Others can also help you to be a better person and if someone says something to you, what he thinks you don't do good, don't ignore it. Maybe he's right. Maybe not, but a lot of people don't just say stuff because they just want to. If someone just says 'You're stupid' or 'I don't like you' then you can ignore it because you can't change that. But if someone says something like 'I don't like the way you criticize others' or 'I'd like you to talk quieter' then think about what this person said and if you properly thought about it, you can decide if you want to change it or if you want to stay this way. But always remember: nobody's perfect!

I don't have clue why but the last few post basically started pretty simple and then turned into this philosophic and psychological words. I actually couldn't stop my hands from writing and I know that it sometimes doesn't have very much to do with the actual issue of the post, but who cares?

Tell me if you care and tell me what you think about Girl Online and Zoella and please - PLEASE - tell me if you ('ve) also have/had this problem with always being afraid of doing the wrong thing, tell me if you'd like me to do a book review, tell me everything! The comment box is there for a reason...

Girl Online, going offline ;)

P.S. The time when my posts went online aren't right... I don't know what but somethings wrong with my computer... xxx

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