"Weltschmerz" - Teeny Tiny Thoughts - Friday
noun, often capitalized, welt·schmerz, \ˈvelt-ˌshmerts\
1. mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state
2. a mood of sentimental sadness
3. the pain of being
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warning: it's a philosophical one :)
Long time, no see, budds. But that's my fault. Anyways, it's 22:50 PM and Solange's having existential thoughts whilst listening to 'Sign of the Times' for the hundredth time on repeat at a volume so high that my eardrums are protesting rather wildly - anyways, a few thoughts just crossed my mind and I've decided to write them down and share them with the world.
The word 'weltschmerz' is an originally German word (Google translator translates it to 'world-weariness but I find Weltschmerz much prettier.) and I don't know whether or not it can also be used in other languages - but I know that there most definitely isn't an English translation for it to be found neither in my vocabulary nor anywhere in the depths of the world wide web. To be honest, I'm not sure if the word 'weltschmerz' is 100% the right word to describe what this post is all about as there are hundreds of slightly different definitions to it and everybody concieves it a bit differently but it's definitely what comes nearest.
What does this word actually mean? you may ask. Well, I can't tell you what it is to others, but for me it's a type of feeling that has been present ever since... ever. In order to get this all completely right I need to clarify: the first definition on the top of this post is not exactly what I understand under 'weltschmerz'. To me, it's not a negative feeling. Rereading all the definitions just now makes me realise that these definitions make it seem so bad and negative but that's really not what I think it is. I don't believe it's a matter of mental health or state of mind whether or not you're familiar to this emotion.
The definition that I think fits the best is the third one. The pain of being. What an odd feeling. On one hand it's one of the, in my opinion, strongest emotions human beings can feel - set aside whether or not they notice it's existence -, on the other hand a feeling of no actual use whatsoever. Imagine nostalgia, happiness, exitement, anxiety, grace and much more emotions, all mixed together. Doesn't sound familiar? Well then I guess I haven't described it well enough because I'm sure you've felt it.
To me, music is a huge trigger. Not upbeat music, not the kind of music that makes you dance. It's the cheesy, slow music. Sometimes when I walk home from somewhere and listen to music really loudly because the dark scares me (I'm 15. And scared in the dark. Yup. The monsters never went away.) and that's the times I feel weltschmerz. When I'm alone. And I think it's a beautiful experience - sometimes it'll be just me, smiling like an idiot on my way home, sometimes it'll be just me, trying not to cry on the way home and that's not because something oh-so-horrible happened but because of the inability of life to reach for the universe. Weird, I know.
I figure that this whole thing has got something to do with the fact that we, as humans, know somewhere deep down of the complete irrelevance of our existence and can't get our minds wrapped around what or why things exist the way they do - and with things I don't mean the dishwasher and bicycles but planets, galaxies. The universe. If there are any, parallel universes. All that stuff.
Now this has gotten existencial, I genuinely hope you're holding up and haven't just yet had your existencial crisis. Let me just say one last thing:
I don't know why I wrote this post. I think it's nice to make people aware of the existence of this feeling. I think we shouldn't be scared of the universe and the fact that there's no relevance in existence of anything, whatever we do. Weltschmerz shouldn't be feared or disliked. If there's one thing we all have in common, it's the fact that we're all in this together. We were all given the chance to live, by whatever circumstance that may be, it might have been somewhat of a God that created us, it might have been complete coincidence and evolution that gave us the gift of life, we can't possibly know, but we're all in this together and all we can do to thank for that is make our short little stay in this universe as marvelously fantastic as possible.
*takes a deep breath*